Airborne

Remember being a teen ager and pondering life, its why's and when's and who's... I do. I suppose I pondered those things since I was very young. However, I think I assumed it would make sense by now. I can imagine being 10 years old then, and the notion that 25 years later I wouldn't have the answers is unsettling. The concept of Time is clearly problematic, but then so is the concept of God or Self.

Certain things I know, however they seem to be the kinds of things that are results of being an animal, such as, I start to feel tired or run down so I take Vitamin C and Deep Sleep. Or, I feel like a home is no longer supporting my needs and so I must move on to other areas until I find one that will. There may be some brilliant thread of light in all of that, however, look at any animals and see their brilliance much more clearly ( I saw March of the Penguins today).

So, after a lifetime of asking the questions and redefining my answers routinely, do I know more now than when I began? These blogs are said to be "redefining" journalism in our age. Honey, this ain't journalism. There is, however, a phenomenon around meaning to which these blogs do offer a communal response. Communal, yes. Unified, no. Blogging is closer to group meditation or even prayer, not so much journalism.

There are thousands of folks out there who are reaching their fingertips into the ethers in an attempt to touch the nerve of our race. Not the physical, primal, animal nerve . . . the existential vein that runs through us, feeds us with questions and starves us our answers. And yet, there is a movement occuring which connects the actual thoughts, ideas and feelings of millions of people into a massive energetic abyss. The abyss of meaning has become a cyber melting pot for seekrs and finders from all walks of life, religions, nations, etc. Some people think they have the answers, others think they have the questions. Some wondrous folks believe they have both and that they are right, no less.

I do not believe that I know a whole lot.

I have been "working" on knowing my self for a long time now. Work it has been. No pay, no company car, no free lunch. Choosing to live a life where I constantly fall off my camel, get spit on, pissed on and stepped on, has not been fun. The phenomenon which truly fascinates me, however, is why, why I continue to get back on the camel. For what?

One of my favorite religious ad campaigns is "What Would Jesus Do?" So many great answers possible.
However, the existential question it points to is more important. If the Catholic Church is suggesting that Catholics are to live their lives in the shadow of God, basing their decisions and actions on the model of the "Perfect Son," then that freaks me out quite a bit. Because, in my world, I see posters and bumper stickers all over the place which pose a similar question, "What Would Jeff Do?"

Suffer? Survive? Cry all day and tear down "What would Jesus Do?" posters?

Perhaps I should compare my shortcomings with the Son of God? Not so difficult, really. Does it help, though? If I believed that Jesus of Nazareth was essentially a human god, than it isn't much different from me saying that I am a divine being in a physical body. I'd feel better if the Catholic Church put up posters that said "What Would You Do?"